States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
