I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
