it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
