There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
