if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
