I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You can't special order awesome
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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