I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
