butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
