come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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