3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
