Soap is not a condiment
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
