Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
my poor anus
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
