ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
