Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
