idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
