why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
