Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
