so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
