ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I fill condoms, not promises.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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