1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Randomize
