He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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