My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
whose ass print is on the piano?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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