Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
