Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
