why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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