oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
