You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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