im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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