he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
