I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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