roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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