oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
