I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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