I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
