umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
