It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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