I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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