hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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