Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
