Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
