i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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