well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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