3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
