can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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