Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
