the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The beer is more important than you right now.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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