Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
its liver damage thursday
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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