You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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