....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
