clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
