I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
