I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
