She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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