I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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