oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
