i may or may not be watching the land before time
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize