Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
