Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
