i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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